You wouldn't like me when I'm wet
by SomeGuyOrOther
Summary: A drabble. What the heck drowned in that pool? Elements from Marvel Comics.


I ran into lord ccompack's description of his Ranma story: "**Ranma** decides to venture forth in search of a cure for his curse, and maybe just maybe he can find something more important. a **Ranma**/Incredible **Hulk** fusion with **ranma** as David Banner, and no **Ranma** does not turn into the **hulk**, he just turns a girl when wet"

Which kinda activated my drabble generator.

* * *

"Oh no! Young customer fall in spring of (lengthy incomprehensible Chinese word)!"

"Arf?"

"Spring of drowned very strong angry girl with pronoun trouble! Very tragic story, especially if Mr. Customer not run away very fast!"

"RAAARGH!!!"

……

"Ok…"

"That was…strange."

"Oh my."

"Daddy, did a panda just run through one wall and out the other?"

"Yes, Nabiki."

"And was the panda being chased by a small red-haired girl waving around a telephone pole?"

"Yes, Akane."

"And was Panda-san waving a small sign with "Help me, Tendo" written on it?"

"Yes, Kasumi."

"Incidentally, she took out quite a bit of our roof and we're being rained on. Perhaps you should go after the panda and see if you can get him to pay for damages?"

"Please stop crying, father."

…..

"Akane?"

"Yes, Ranma?"

"For the love of God, don't ask her to spar with you."

…..

"Look, Ranma, you can't go to school wearing a scuba outfit. I mean, what are the odds of your being splashed?"

….

"Ranko? Name is Ranko?"

"No, no, Nabiki was just joking. Your name is Ranma."

"Not Ranma! Ranma puny weakling!"

"Oookay…"

….

"AARGH! WHY AM ALWAYS WET?!"

"Er…um…Ranma?"

"Where Ranma?"

"Wait a minute. The clothes you're wearing, the way they don't fit, the tear…ugh... Ranma! How dare you try to fool me!"

"Not Ranma, Ranko!"

"Mr. Hibiki…excuse me, but there's something you _really_ need to know…"

"As if I'd ever fall for such a ploy! What a cowardly trick!"

"Bandana-boy beginning to annoy me."

"Please, don't provoke her! She's…"

"Your girlfriend trying to protect you, Ranma?"

"RANKO!"

"I wonder why she's trying to help an honorless coward like you? Did you bully her into it, Ranma? Or maybe..."

"RANKO SMASH!"

"Oh dear."

……

"Dr. Tofu! We have an emergency!"

"Hello, Akane. What's the mat…oh my goodness."

"_Ranma_…EEE…_when I get you_…OOOW…_somewhere with no cold water_…NNN."

"How on earth did you get that large an umbrella all that way up your …"

"Dr Tofu!" [1]

…….

"What wrong with way Shampoo speak? Sound fine to Ranko."

….

"Why don't we just sick Ranko on him? She's still almost as strong as "regular Ranma", and she gets stronger the madder she gets – and Happosai gets her plenty mad."

"I'm afraid if Ranma doesn't manage to win this one on his own, his masculinity is just going to curl up and die…"

….

"You've got _how_ many amazons after you?"

….

"We have a bogey, sir. Just launched from Japan."

"Check on its radar profile, Miller. Is it…_that_ again?"

"Yes, sir. It does look like…a midget again."

"What the hell are they _doing_ over there in Japan, Miller?"

"I don't know sir, but I think we need to inform the Chinese before they do anything hasty. Looks like it's going to land in Tibet this time."

….

"Stupid monkey-cow…whatever boy thinks he really strong! But Ranko STRONGEST THERE IS!"

….

"Hah! Showed dragon-guy couldn't beat Ranko! [2] Nothing can beat Ranko!"

"Certainly not the insidious rules of Japanese grammar."

"Grammar no can beat….heey. You making fun Ranko?"

"Look! Ranma!"

"Where puny Ranma?"

"He went thattaway. Hurry, and you might catch him!"

"RANKO SMASH!"

"That girl is such a delight. Thick as a brick, always happy to smash or lift things, and no concept of modesty."

"Nabiki, you're going to get in trouble one of these days…"

"Sure, sure Akane. Now where's that clipping about that "strong man" contest later this week? I feel a profitable bet coming on…"

….

"Is Miss Hinako alright, Ranma?"

"Just a bit shook up. She's been bleeding off excess chakra and she doesn't look like the Dojo Destroyer's sister anymore."

"Don't say things like that, Baka. It must have been pretty embarrassing for her."

"Not just the swelling up like a balloon, but also the wardrobe malfunction."

"Geez, Hiroshi! I had just about managed to drive the image out of my head, and you reminded me! Ick!"

"Sorry, Daisuke."

"Yeah, Yeah. But, seriously, tryin' to drain off monster chick's battle aura? She's lucky she's still in one piece."

"Good thing Ranko was too busy laughing to punch her into orbit after she got too fat to stand up…"

…….

"Bah! Ranko smash stupid lingerie store!"

"Now, now Ranko: that isn't lady-like."

"Sorry sword-lady."

….

"Huh."

"Curious."

"Okay, you saw that. I just waved, right? And the guy in the kendo outfit just…"

"Jumped out a third-story window, right."

"I mean, I didn't _do_ anything. I have my bracers on, so there wasn't a shock wave – you think he's part of another lame alien conspiracy or something?"

"Maybe he just suffers from a severe phobia of muscle-bound redheads."

"Hmm. Sounds oddly familiar, _Biko-__chan_."

….

"Hello, Ranma."

"Hello, old g…wait a minute. You didn't say son-in-law."

"I have news you will enjoy. The tribal council watched those video tapes I sent back and you're off the hook with my great-granddaughter and the rest of the mob."

"That's great, old…_elder_ Cologne! But what about that "Amazons never break tribal law, forty-thousand-years-of-tradition" stuff you're always goin' on about?"

"There's always a loophole if you look long enough, sonny. They went through the Book of Law, and they managed to dig up something called the "Kenshiro exception…"

……

"Well, Ranma _was _feeling pretty good about himself. He managed to save me and beat the big bad without any help from Ranko – honestly, she's a handful: I think if Ryoga hadn't used the hot water she would have collapsed the whole mountain on top of us."

"So why is he moping around now?"

"On the way back, Ranko helped some American superheroes defeat an evil god and got an invitation to join their club or whatever: he's been grumbling pretty steadily ever since…"

[1] Relax, Ryoga-fans! He gets better. (Physically at least).

[2] I know what you're thinking, but no. Herb may be a jerkass, but he's neither an idiot or suicidal.


End file.
